As the Oregon rain pounds against my studio windows night after night I've started contemplating finding something warm and cozy to snuggle up with on cold winter evenings. If I had the room, and a yard, I would most definitely opt for a cute little golden Labrador retriever, and perhaps a chocolate lab to go along with it. I could cook stew for them and make homemade dog biscuits fresh from the oven. It would be great.
If I had even more space, say perhaps a small farm or even just a good solid acre or two, I would most definitely opt for a goat. I've often daydreamed about having a little pygmy goat frolicking about and causing mischief. I feel like I'd understand it.
Unfortunately, living in a studio apartment limits my options of what exactly I can snuggle up with. I honestly don't think I even have room for a cat. Unless maybe it was a blind or lame cat, then perhaps it wouldn't be fully aware of the size of the space where it was living. I've been checking out the humane society listings for blind, lame, one-eyed and three-legged cats for several weeks now, but so far nothing has turned up.
So I thought maybe I'd get a turtle. I could snuggle up to a turtle. Besides, turtles move slow so it would take a lot longer before it realized it was living in such a small environment. I figured I could just set it down and let it walk across my studio floor and then when it hit the wall I could turn it around and let it walk the other way.
That was my plan anyway, until I launched into extensive research mode to discover all I could about turtle care and ownership.
That's when I read this:
"During the mating season, male box turtles periodically protrude and rhythmically fan their penis. A turtle's copulatory organ is flower-shaped and purple, and may appear unusual or abnormal to those unfamiliar with box turtles. It is most often mistaken for prolapsed organ and may be treated as such by those unfamiliar with box turtle anatomy and mating habits."
I don't like the idea of my pet turtle fanning out its member and fluttering it about my apartment while I'm trying to sleep. It doesn't sound very relaxing.
I also don't like that it's purple and shaped like a flower. From now on I'm only considering female pets and it sounds like it is too difficult to determine the sex of the box turtle before it starts fanning out its purple privates at me.
It also worries me that if that was going on and there weren't any other turtles around, and I was the only other living thing in the entire place, would it start coming for me? That would freak me out. I'm usually barefoot around my apartment and I don't want any funny business going on.
It would be really hard to sleep if I had to always worry about it scaling up the side of my bed and fanning things at me.
I could put it in a tank, if I could think of where to put a tank, but still, what if it was just sitting there in the tank, staring me down, fanning at me.
It's just all too much to handle. I need to give this whole pet ownership thing a little more thought.
 | Currently reading : Hermit Crab: Your Happy Healthy Pet By Audrey Pavia Release date: By 17 April, 2006 |
