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Testosterone builds the length of the fourth (right) digit in the womb. The longer your ring finger (in relation to your pointing finger) the more you are likely to have mathematical, mechanical and/or musical skills. -Chemistry.com |
Chemistry.com is on an absolute spamming rampage right now, flooding my inbox with subject lines like “Who will you miss meeting today, Jennie?” and “Jennie, how many more lonely nights will you spend in 2008?”
Whatever. I decided to put their system to the test. Game on. Bring it.
First, I was asked to hold my right hand up to the screen and compare my hand to that of the four hands on the screen.
Next, I was asked to recognize the facial expressions of four models and determine whose smile was authentic. Facial expression recognition score = 0.
My third question involved rating my doodling style. You know, the kind of drawings you might make along the edge of your paper if you’re attending a boring meeting or lecture. My choices were geometric shapes, abstract drawings, symbols, repetitive images, grids, fluffy animals, girly hearts or free flowing doodles. There was no option if you simply write the words, "Get me out of here!" along the border of your notebook.
Then there was the Q & A portion of the test (which was nothing more than a rip-off of eharmony’s testing methods) and an invitation to join for $49.95 per month, which I ignored by pushing the “not now” button.
According to Chemistry.com's "scientific report," I am a Director/Explorer:
"Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion. Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient. Directors take dating seriously and are clear in their intentions. Directors enjoy loyalty, ambition, competence and stimulating conversations. And the sparks will fly in the bedroom—Directors have a high sex drive."
Good to know.
According to Chemistry.com's Chief Scientific Adviser, (some cultural anthropologist) my most compatible match is The Negotiator, who excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.”
A nurturing man? "What does a nurturing man even look like?" I thought. So I pushed the button and Chemistry.com returned....
Zero nurturing men! All they had were a bunch of lousy fellow Directors like myself.
Humph!
