I don't know if I'm just sore from kicking some serious superhero ass over the weekend, or if it's that I was doing so in a pair of silver thigh high space boots and shiny metalic hot pants, but I could really use some IcyHot!
It all totally paid off though because my alter ego, "Pluto's Revenge," was named the "Best New Evil Recruit" at the Superheroes Versus Super Villains event over the weekend. Muwahahahah!
I not only successfully dodged futile attempts by superheroes to bring me back to side of good, but I also repeatedly fought off the Red Menace, a fallen Soviet superhero turned villain who was hot on my intergalactic trail all night.It probably helped that I was double fisting it with a ray gun in each hand AND had an entire meteor shower and ice storm contained within a teleporting device that I kept slung over my shoulder.
Initiation began at the Crown Room where we threw back Dr. Doom's Dirty Shots and were tested on our abilities to steal candy from babies. Thunder Thighs misunderstood the task, stealing the candy, then setting half of it back and crushing the baby between her thunderous thighs. The Satanic Mechanic simply bunt kicked the first baby he came across, passed on the candy, and returned to his Fallen Angel eye candy.
Then the Trimet Bandit was kidnapped from the nearby superhero bar R. Palate and quickly tied up. Damsels were caused distress and sharks were fitted with small laser beams atop their heads. Alligators were let loose. Initiation finished with a mustache twirling and evil laugh contest.
From there we headed to the North Park Blocks where giant blow-up replicas of sharks, alligators and the Earth were volleyed back and forth in a game of World Domination Volleyball. Super Critical gave two thumbs down while the Gold Standard, who was even less impressed, gave it a rating of 1 on a 10-point scale, lamenting that his rating cards could
go no lower. Meanwhile Miss Information walked around spreading a bunch of lies about the whole event.A trip to Blitz felt a bit like the Star Wars Cantina with only a handful of startled Earth creatures in civilian attire as the superheroes and villains came pouring inside to take control of the bar.
I couldn't figure out what had caused the marks on my arms when I stepped out of the shower Sunday afternoon. Then I remembered the 60 person rubber band fight at Paranoid Park. Pluto's Revenge fought well.
By the time we traveled on our evil path of destruction from Paranoid Park through Chinatown tensions between superheroes and villains had mounted once again. A dance off at C.C. Slaughter's between good and evil ensued. The SD card for my Earth camera was full by the time Good Karma had grabbed Alley Cat by the legs and was helicoptering her around the dance floor, but what I did get was uploaded.
With my memory card full (Earth technology is so last galaxy), I resumed battle wit
h the Red Menace, which involved me somehow rolling across a pool table with a ray gun in each hand - twice. I chased and blasted my way from Chinatown to the Pearl, with a stop off for a Philly cheese steak at Ford's on 5th in Old Town.Having safely distanced myself from The Red Menace, I bent over to pull up one of my silver space boots. Suddenly a horn started honking and a man yelled out the window of his car, "You're my hero!" as I turned to see the Red Menace blasting up behind me. And again the chase was on!
